Friends of the opposite sex, while in a relationship.....
When I was younger I used to say, "Get that skank outta here!" However, having friends of the opposite sex is not always a bad thing, because sometimes you need to hear an honest opinion from someone who is of the same species as your spouse. The problem that come with friends of the opposite sex is that people who have these friends do not set clear boundaries. Setting boundaries in any relationship, friendship, or what have you is healthy in general. However if you want that individual that you are with to feel secure you need to help them in a really hard situation.
Imagine being that person on the other end who has to hear conversations with you and these friends. How would that make you feel? A lot of times we get caught up in us, or what happened in the past, and that people tend to forget about the needs of each other. If the person in your life is telling you that they are not comfortable with you having friends of the opposite sex, breathe and think. Think about how much you value your relationship with your significant other, versus your relationship with your friends. Although you may tell your significant other that nothing will ever happen with you and a friend that may not relieve them of their feelings, and their feelings are valid. However, hear them, and work together to establish a plan of boundaries for the friendships.
Getting Rid of Dead Weight
We all hate to hear those words... baby we have to talk, or I love you but I need to focus on me! You feel the lump in your throat as you begin to think about all of the times that you didn't give you number out and should have. You think about the times you should have entertained that person at the store. You think about how you have ignored your friends for months, and now your going to be back to the crew. You think about how this is another failed relationship. However, you will and can surive.
1. Remember that even though shit seem bad, this person saved you from wasting more time, with someone who was not for you.
2. Begging to be taken back and calling your ex at some point during the middle of the night is normal behavior during the process.
3. Allow yourself to feel your feelings.
4. Process your feelings.
5. Don't beat yourself up over what you did, could have done better, or how you did everything for this person.
6. Look at the energy around you since the person is not in your life anymore.
HOW TO CANCEL A WEDDING....
So many people wait until the last minute to say I don't , I can't or I couldn't. However it's never too late to say I won't or I don't even if it's on the day of the wedding or at the alter.
Several people that I have spoken to bout marriage, who were divorced or are married or are separated have stated I knew it was over when I was walking down the aisle. Some people even informed me that they never felt right about the relationship during the wedding planning process. Others have stated that they wish they would have thought about the marriage being a life time commitment and not just a big party.
Marriage takes work, time, commitment, trust, forgiveness, and understanding. So many marriages are not lasting because people are not putting in the time to change, adjust, address and uphold their vows. However if you do not think that you cannot uphold these vows, or do not have time to uphold the vows, then maybe you should think twice before signing those papers.
How to cancel a wedding.....
1. Just cancel it ! LOL
2. Speak with the person who you are engaged to and work together or separate to decide if you are going to cancel or postpone the wedding.
3. Reach out to the vendors to work out refunds or payment arrangements.
4. If you have sent invites, no sweat.... have someone reach out to the guest to inform them of the change of plans.
5. Take some time to yourself to think, and process your feelings.
6. Know that you are going to be okay, and this type of thing happens more often than you think.
7. Do not think you are stupid for canceling your wedding. You would be stupid to knowingly go into a situation that you know is not right.
8. Count out all of the people that are telling you that you are not making the right decision, by canceling the wedding.
9. You will feel horrible for some time, but you will be okay eventually, and then happy later.
10. When your cancelled wedding day come, know that you will be fine, and it will be just another day!